THE TEST OF MENTORSHIP.
Do You Have Someone That You Allow To Speak To Your Life?
So when all Israel saw that the king hearkened not unto them, the people answered the king, saying,
What portion have we in David?
neither have we inheritance in the son of Jesse:
to your tents, O Israel:
now see to thine own house, David.
So Israel departed unto their tents.(1Ki.12:16)
Are You Willing To Submit?
The test of mentorship is about you being willing to submit yourself to a senior person in ministry who can mentor you. Choosing a mentor is not based on the consideration of chronological age but a consideration of experience in the place of home and ministry. You may be the wife of a Bishop or that of a general overseer of a very big ministry but if you don’t have someone who can speak to your life and ask you to stop something you are doing when no one else can, you are likely to commit errors that will cost you dearly in ministry. Many have shipwrecked their life, family and husband’s ministry, just because at critical moments, they took steps which they would not have taken if they had someone that they submitted to.
In our reference scripture, Rehoboam the son of Solomon who succeeded him as king, blew up the opportunity to reign over a united Israel which his father handed over to him, when he refused the counsel of the elders and followed the frivolous advise of his peers. Of course, you must depend primarily on the Holy Spirit in taking your decisions, but often you will need the counsel of people who have gone ahead of you in ministry.
Your mentor should be someone who, out of having being there ahead of you, is in the position to hold your hand and guide you in the journey of marriage and ministry. Your mentor is not someone you can just choose by yourself using human criteria only; she should be someone you are divinely guided to submit your life and ministry to, for guidance. The relationship is so important that you have to be careful about the person you submit to either as your mentor. Your mentor should be someone you cannot but do what she asks you to do. For instance, if you are adamant about a situation, and you receive a call (not even a visit) from your mentor that you should leave the matter, you will submit to her voice immediately. When your husband offends, and you have made up your mind what you will do, she is someone that will ask you to stop it and you will drop the matter. She is someone who can make you change your decision even when others failed in persuading you to do so. There are some general guidelines that you should be on the lookout for in submitting to a mentor
Is the person obedient to God?
This is important because someone who is not obedient to God is likely to lead you astray. Your mentor should be able to discourage you from doing anything against the will of God. However, it is only someone that is walking in the will of God that can discourage you from going against His will. A mentor who is not submissive to her husband is not likely to make you to see reason why you will need to submit when there is conflict. Rather, she may teach you how to defy your husband’s instructions.
Is the person observant enough to know your strengths and weaknesses?You must allow your mentor to know the details that other people don’t know about your life. For instance, I always tell my mentees that if their wives can’t report them to me when they are about to make a wrong turn, then we can’t relate together. It is easy to go off track in ministry if there is no one that can caution you. If I am your mentor, your wife must be given the licence to report you to me if you are gradually going into emotional affairs, before you fall into adultery and mess up the mandate that God has given you. Your mentor must also be observant enough to know your areas of strength in order to encourage you to grow and become greater.
How real is the person?
Your mentor should be someone who is real. There are times we hide ourselves from others so that they will have the belief that we are superhuman. Instead of making you to have the feeling that she is above temptation, she should rather let you know that every human being is susceptible to temptation but that there are steps to take to avoid falling into it. That will help you to take those necessary steps to avoid getting yourself entangled by erroneously, feeling you are above temptation. She should also be real enough to share with you their own low moments in ministry, so that you may avoid the pitfalls which they experienced.
How committed is she to relationships?
Look at the relationships in her life. How committed is she to such relationships? One of the signs of commitment to a relationship is how ready she is to commit her resources to the relationship. For instance, how ready is she to commit her resources into her own husband’s ministry? Someone who does not believe that she should spend her material resources on her husband’s ministry is not likely to encouragement you to do so.
Readiness to invest into your life and ministry
Mentoring requires the investment of time in the life of the mentee. Time is required in answering questions, giving counsel etc. A mentor who can’t spare time one way or the other is not likely to be able to make the necessary impact in your life.
There are two major obstacles that may make the pastor’s wive not to have such voice over there lives. The first one is ignorance, which may not make you to realize the need for someone to occupy such position in your life. The second obstacle is pride, which may make you to see yourself as being above corrections or guidance by someone else.
Do You Have Someone That You Allow To Speak To Your Life?
Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
