John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven. (Jn.3:27)
In most homes, there is a line of demarcation between husband and wife as to the financial responsibilities of both. It is conventional for the husband to be responsible for school fees, house rent and other visible items of expenditure in the home. Such arrangements make a man to appear to be in charge. However, we should be careful about such exclusions in marriage because it may cause problems in the home in future. In a family, the way you dispense your resources should demonstrate that you are one. You should not have an exclusive list of responsibilities.
As you decide together in what area to spend the funds that come in through your individual efforts, it becomes imperative for you to depend on each other for financial decision-making in the home. This ultimately leads to greater bonding and unity in the home.
Another advantage of such a practice is that it makes you to see yourself as not being independent but as being part of a whole as stated in Matthew 19:6-
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Countless marriages have broken down because of the feeling of independence i.e., when either the husband or wife has the feeling that he or she can conveniently do without the other just because you have the feeling that you are earning enough. Such feeling makes it difficult for the wife to be submissive to the husband and it makes the husband not to be less committed to his spouse. The intention of God is that we should be interdependent.
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Gen.2:18)
Yet another advantage is that when there is loss of job or loss of income, there is likely to be less complaints as the other partner knows that responsibilities in the home does not reside permanently with any member. There are homes that once there is loss of job of the husband, even when the wife can afford it, she refuses to do it. The home suffers ultimately for funds which though are available are not made available as a result of relationship flaws.
One other advantage of this approach is that it teaches your children vital lessons on unity of purpose in the family.
To achieve this in a family, however, requires high level of trust. Where trust is not total, the arrangement is not likely to work. For instance, when a woman has reason to doubt the integrity of her husband, probably as a result of having caught him in extra-marital relationship. Many women may also not subscribe to the idea if there are records of dishonesty in their husbands’ spendings.
Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
