My marriage is 13 years old with 3 boys. Since 8 years now I am the one paying rent. My husband had a terrible accident that affected his leg and because of the bad treatment he received, he is 45. So he has been walking with the help of clutches. Because of his condition, I don’t disturb him much on issues of money. God promted me from 50k salary to 70k salary. I started ajo to save up money to help my husband start a business. I saved for a year and 7 months, I also saved money people dashed me mostly during festivals. Every day 1k and i saved close to a million plus without letting him know. I have no help from family as it stands because I am an only child, my father is a widower. I am the only one catering for the family, my husband’s condition too coupled with hospital appointments. From the money saved by me, I got a shop and followed a woman that does that same business to the market to buy things and stock at the shop. Before then I asked my husband what he will love to do, he said business, (provision). I stocked the shop and left it for him. I started saving again, doing the little I can to help out. I have no good clothes, j barely send my father money. Highest I have sent him is 10k when he was ill. My dad understood my situation and he didn’t complain. I pay Children’s school fees.
The shop goes down everyday, some days my husband will tell me that he didn’t have much sales and the rest. I will keep encouraging him. After a year, the progress and shop rent got expired. I went to the ajo meeting and asked them of my money to pay shop rent. I used the rest to add to the shop. Why my father doesn’t even ask me of money like that is because he is a farmer and gets money to feed himself. My dad send me alot of food stuff and sometimes money when I ask him of little amount.
To cut my story short. I found out some bank deposit slip last 2 months hidden under the milk tin on the provision counter. 11 deposit slips contain money sent to my mother inlaw. 25k, 30k, 15k, 40k, 20k 15k, 31k, 10k, 19k, 33k, 11k . These money were paid in by my husband to his mother from the shop. I don’t have a good cloth to wear, we hardly even feed properly but at least the children don’t complain of hunger but my husband have the heart to send money to his mum. I stopped calling my mother in law because she bad mouths me alot. She went to one prayer house and they told her that they have they have a water husband that is jealous not me. That the water husband is responsible for my husbands predicament. I am a staunch Catholic. I say my rosary often and I am at peace with myself. Since then my mother inlaw changed totally. Anytime I call her is curse upon curses and I stopped.
I confronted my husband and he started asking me if his mother will starve where he runs a business. As I am speaking to you, I hardly sleep. Every night I stay awake thinking of a whole lot of things. I walk along the street and talk to myself. I am no more a happy woman. I am depressed. I shout on my children unnecessarily.
On top of all these, my husband wants to have intimacy always. If I refuse he will accuse me of cheating with my colleagues. I am an unhappy 40 years old woman. It’s affecting me at work too. The shop is almost closing up, empty counter. I am frustrated. I have asked myself what people will say if I walk away from this marriage. I am crying as I am typing. I don’t know what to do again. Hide my id and post for me. Is anybody in my shoes please tell me what to do please?
DIFFERENT ADVICES
Pls house, this is a serious matter. This person needs advise on what to do ,before She commit suicide.
She don’t need to commit suicide.
– Anonymous
Let the close up, the man should stay at home, feed him but don’t bring much food stuff to your house to afford dashing out again.
Make sure you take good care of him because of his condition
This is pathetic, and very touchy. From all indication, the man is insensitive and an ingrate. For his wife to be so supportive, and engage in such a sacrifice for her husband; it’s a rarity. To the wife, I sympathize with her may the Lord comfort and strengthen her.
– Aps Oludimu
However, my advice will be to endure for the sake of her children, but let the shop be closed down, and let’s see how the unwise man will have the money to send to her mother. She can then start her own business different from what the husband is doing. I’ll also advise that she learns to also take care of herself, trusting God to raise and send her a true helper.
The lady should be encouraged.
– Coram Deo
Simple, she should just concentrate on her children.
She must confront her husband in love about the slips.
She should let the husband know the depth of his wickedness and ungratefulness
The marriage covenant permit confrontation in love.
