STEPS YOU MUST NEVER CONTEMPLATE IN DIFFICULT MARRIAGE.

Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.(Rom.4:18)

There are situations in difficult marriage that can make you to take steps that may become a source of eternal regrets later. Some of those steps which you must never contemplate are discussed below:

Never Plan To Terminate Life.

There are cases where life is terminated out of frustration that come with the diverse situations in a difficult home. You must never contemplate terminating either your own life, that of your spouse or that of child. Either by poisoning, hired killers or by deliberately allowing situations such as arranged accidents, you must not allow yourself to be used to terminate any life.

Never Think Of Retaliation.

One of the major reasons why you must not contemplate retaliation is that what your spouse is doing to offend you may not be his fault. It may be as a result of a personality disorder over which he doesn’t really have control. When you retaliate, you are most of he time making matters worse. Also, when you retaliate, you run the risk of offending God.(Rom.12:19)

Stop Brooding Over The Situation And Blaming Yourself.

If you fail to forgive yourself or forgive your spouse as the case may be and you keep brooding over the situation, you may be setting up yourself for mental health problems which may only make matters worse for every member of the family.

Never Abandon Your Children.

Never contemplate abandoning your children. For instance, if your husband is the type that is irresponsible concerning the children and you are the one taking care of the children including the payment of school fees, don’t make the mistake of abandoning your children for him. If you do, you will look back later and be full of regrets.

Never Contemplate Divorce Except When Life Is Threatened.

As difficult as things may appear to be in your marriage, you may discover that divorce is not really the solution. Except in a situation where life is threatened, you should not really look at divorce as a possible solution to the problems at home.

There may be extreme situations in which it may be advisable to separate. However, you must be careful about separation. This is because in most cases separation usually leads finally to divorce.You should ask yourself the question about what you are separating to do. If you are separating to go into another marriage, it is probably because you have earlier been unfaithful to your spouse. You may separate to seek the will of God as to what may be done, not to immediately go into another relationship.

Never Rush Decisions When Deeply Hurt.

Take your time when you are deeply hurt by your spouse, before taking decisions. Decisions taken during periods of intense annoyance are usually overreactions which might have damaged things irreparably.

Never Lose Hope.

There is no difficult marriage that can not be straightened. God can use anything to sort out your difficult marriage. Losing hope is like pushing God out of your situation and allowing the devil to have the opportunity to do what he knows how best to do.(Jn.10:10)

Never Abandon Your God.

Periods of challenges may be periods that God will use to teach you vital lessons in your journey of faith; it may be periods for you to demonstrate your commitment to Him.

Dr. Mike Oluniyi.