On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.”(Jn.2:1-3)
During the wedding above, the wine that was provided gradually got depleted until there was none left. Mary, the mother of Jesus being a guest at the wedding called the attention of Jesus who eventually provided fresh wine.
Your marriage may be likened to that wedding. When you start the journey of marriage, the pleasure you derive from the relationship is very high. However, with the passage of time, there are a lot of matters that reduce the pleasure that you derive from the relationship.
WHEN OFFENSES ARE NOT FORGIVEN.
When as a couple you offend one another and the offenses are not forgiven, it drains wine from your union. Once we fail to remember that there is no way that we won’t offend one another, we may fail to see reasons why we must forgive one another. When offenses are not forgiven, it makes us to forget every good feature of our partner but only see the ugly part which makes the pleasure we derive from the relationship to keep reducing.
WHEN TRUST BROKEN IS NOT REBUILT.
Marriage is built on trust. When trust is broken by a partner but the offender does not make effort to rebuild the trust or the offended fails to trust again, the wine in marriage becomes gradually depleted. If as a partner in marriage, you do something that reduces the trust of your spouse in you, there is need for you to make efforts to make your partner to regain such trust. There is also the need for us to know that a relationship that lacks trust from both end can’t give pleasure to the partners.
CHILDREN.
Children are supposed to be great sources of joy in marriage. However, If you are not careful and intentional to convince yourself that your relationship must take prime place in your activities, the arrival of children and their nurturing may drop the level of wine in your marriage. Often, when children arrive, wives shift attention from their husband to the children. This is a problem in many homes where the husband feels that he doesn’t matter to the wife any longer.
DISCOVERY OF WEAKNESSES.
As you discover the vulnerability or the places of weakness of your spouse, it may make the wine to drop in your marriage. While in premarital relationship, there are certain traits of your spouse that are not exposed to you until wedding takes place. By the time such weaknesses are revealed to you after marriage, it may reduce the value that you place on your spouse. You must all the time remember that there is really no perfect spouse anywhere. You must in fact remember always that even you are not perfect.
INEVITABLE CHANGES.
As you age in your relationship, there are some inevitable or sometimes unexpected changes that comes up. The once beautiful face of your wife will wrinkle, arthritis may come, the level of income may drop, sickness may come, offenses may come ie adultery etc. If you keep dwelling on this changes without thinking of the beautiful aspects of our spouses, the level of wine in your marriage is bound to keep dropping.
COMPARISONS.
One other thing that may keep reducing the wine in our marriage when we keep comparing our spouse with that of another and making our spouse to know that they don’t measure up. Each marriage is unique. The area where your spouse does not measure up may be less important than where he or she is actually good. However, due to your comparisons, you may not be able to appreciate your spouse for the good areas. Any spouse that is unappreciated may not give you pleasure to the level you would have loved in your marriage.
CALL FOR THE ATTENTION OF JESUS WHEN THE WINE GET EXHAUSTED.
And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. (Jn.2:3)
In the above scripture, Mary the mother of Jesus called His attention to the fact that wine has been exhausted at the wedding. When you notice that the wine is going down in your marriage, are you wise enough to call the attention of the creator of marriage to it. Often, we deliberately don’t call his attention to it because we may not want to do what He would ask us to do.
Jesus told them that they should fill the empty pots with water. The empty pots in your marriage may need to be filled. What will fill the empty pots may be patience, it may be more demonstration of love, it may be acceptance, it may be trying to rebuild the trust which your spouse has lost in you. The question is ‘Are you ready to fill your own empty pots? Without filling those empty pots, for Him to do his own miracle, your marriage may continue to lack the fulfillment you desire in your marriage as the wine will remain exhausted.
Go ahead and fill your own empty pots now!
Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
