Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom:and with all thy getting get understanding. (Prov.4:7)
It is a terrible experience when your spouse is working against or is not interested in your vision. However trying the situation is, wisdom is the principal virtue you need in such situation, and without it, you will further complicate matters for your life and ministry. You may take the following steps:
Examine Yourself.
Look inwards and examine if there is any way you have opened doors for the devil to operate against your ministry. Is there any way you have allowed iniquity to thrive in your life or ministry? (Rom.6:1-2; Hebrews 10:26-29)
Sin can open doors for the devil to operate in your ministry and when he operates, he may use anybody including your spouse against you. If you discover persistent pattern of sin, it may be better for you to go to God, ask and receive forgiveness.
Ask The Right Questions.
Has your wife always been like that? If it was not so at the beginning, what caused it? What is the foundation of your relationship? Does she move with the right kind of people? Is she fulfilled doing what she is doing presently in the ministry? Is there anything that might have disappointed her about your ministry? Can you identify an area through which you have lost her trust which is reflecting in her response to your ministry?
Asking the right questions and getting response to them helps you to gain proper perspective of a matter and leads you to pray right. It however doesn’t stop with asking the right questions, you must take the next step, which is to correct any errors of the past and do things right.
Although it takes time to rebuild trust, if you keep doing the right thing consistently over time, the trust that was lost may be rebuilt.
Pray Right.
One of the most important things we should know as ministers of God is the need to pray right. Often, we spend considerable time binding, casting and loosing when we are supposed to surrender ourselves to God in penitence. Some of the greatest prayers in the Bible are not necessarily long prayers but the right ones. We must learn to pray right (Jam.4:3)
We should also avoid cursing instead of praying. I went to a prayer mountain to pray and I saw a man energetically praying that his wife should die. You should avoid such a situation, however serious the offense is, instead of praying for the death of your spouse, pray for the help of God. Leave it to God how He is going to help you.
Communicate.
One of the greatest instruments you can employ in marriage is communication. Instead of you warring with your spouse about her non-cooperation, why don’t you sit down to discuss with her. Someone will say that his wife will not say anything. But, have you checked whether she is afraid of what will happen if she dared to tell you the truth?
Empathize.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feeling of someone else. Do you empathize with your spouse? Do you see things from her point of view? Do you actually seek to understand what her challenges are? If you ask your wife to resign her job because you feel she should not work outside the ministry, do you have an arrangement concerning how at least her basic needs will be met?
Conclusion.
Our reference scripture says that wisdom is the principal thing. Indeed, it is so when your spouse is working against your vision. It may be a time for you to examine yourself, ask the right questions, take the right steps and pray right. So help you God!
