AVOID OVEREACTING TO BAD SITUATIONS IN MARRIAGE.

M.A.I.M. NEWSLETTERS No.002
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Dear friends,
AVOID OVEREACTING TO BAD SITUATIONS IN MARRIAGE.
A woman discovered that her husband was dating a lady and was about marrying her as a second wife. Out of annoyance, she got some petrol and waited for her husband to enter their bedroom from the bathroom. She locked the door from outside, poured petrol inside the room told her husband that she would prefer him dead than share him with another woman. She then ignited the room despite the pleas of her husband. The cries of the husband attracted neighbors who rescued the husband, but he eventually died at the hospital.
There was another man who caught his wife with another man in his home. In the confusion that followed, the culprit escaped, but he took his cutlass and killed his wife as well as the two children that the wife had in a previous marriage. After realizing the magnitude of what he had done, he also committed suicide.
Adultery is one of the most most serious offences that spouses commit against one another. It is a betrayal of trust which most partners does not take lightly. However, what we are looking at today is that whether it is adultery or any other less serious offence which your spouse may commit, you should avoid overreacting so that you don’t do what will irrevocably damage things and lead to regrets later.
As a wife for instance, may be you caught your husband in adultery or he impregnated a lady. It is a painful experience no doubt. You may start wondering what your husband saw in the other that is absent in you. If for instance, you move out of your home because your husband committed adultery, have you solved any problem?


Let’s look at some of the most common reactions of partners in situations such as the above:
You Start Publicizing The Offence– I want you to know that some of those people you are telling what your spouse did, wont even mind if your home collapses. You are only giving them the opportunity to give you counsels that will nail your home.
Resorting To Violence– Many especially men resort to violence. It has been said that it is a weak man that turns his wife into a punch bag. Think about unexpected consequences that may result from domestic violence.
Looking For Ungodly Solutions– Many, especially women out of anger have gone to seek other gods either to deal with their husband or the other woman. Many have consequently become members of occultic groups.
Nagging – Another erroneous strategy is nagging your spouse because of what has happened.
Sex Denials – There are women who would sware that their husband would not see their nakedness again. There are men who would avoid going to bed with their spouse because they have been offended.
Cursing And Reputation Destruction – You curse your spouse out of annoyance and do everything possible to destroy his or her reputation.
Divorce – You May sue for divorce without actually thinking about the implications.
Retaliation – There are those that would make up their mind to retaliate by also deliberately doing exactly what the spouse had done.
Planning To Terminate Life – Like in the stories above, there are those who would terminate life of either their spouse or others and even some even commit suicide. Is there any offense that should make you to terminate life?
When you are faced with a bad situation at home, remember the following potential problems which may result from overreactions;
• You might have completely destroyed your home.
• What your spouse did might have been as result of spiritual attack.
• If you are patient, you are very likely to discover a better way of handling the situation later.
• There is nothing you do in annoyance that will please God.
• There are things you will damage that may affect you and your children negatively later.
• In your anger, you may take a decision that you will regret eternally in a moment of anger.
• You may run foul of the law.

Finally, remember what the scriptures say about uncontrolled anger:
“Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry,
For anger rests in the bosom of fools. (Eccl.7:9)”
“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (Jam.1:19-20)“
Whatsoever your spouse might have done to offend you, don’t forget that someone’s spouse not far from you might have done something worse. Instead of doing something which you may live to regret later, be patient and seek God’s guidance. You will often discover that the seriousness of the situation in your mind will mellow down with time. Even if you have to take some important and decisive steps, you will be better organized to take the right decision which may even be more effective than the drastic decision you would have taken to destroy things.
Yours Strenthening Homes.

Revd. Mike Oluniyi. Ph.D.

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