MARRIAGE MATTERS NEWSLETTER 001
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Dear Friends,
FORTY YEARS OF BEING MARRIED
Yesterday was our 40th wedding anniversary. It is almost unbelievable that Yemmy and I have been together in marriage for four decades. Whaoo, how time flies! For you to still be in the race after forty years, you really have to love one another no doubt, but it has to be beyond love because there are times when your love for one another would be battered by offenses. I mean there were times when we doubted the love we had for one another.
When our marriage was about thirty three years, my wife just asked me one day: “Do you love me?” I still wonder up till today why she asked that question. However, I have come to realize that the question was appropriate. There are times on the marital journey that you may doubt your love for another as a result of offenses, what keeps you going at such times is your commitment to the journey of marriage.
So when you are courting one another, you are attracted by love. At such time and when also you newly got married, it is like you are a mystery to one another. Later on, you would have become exposed and vulnerable to one another. Areas of strength and weaknesses would have become visible. However, if you truly love one another, the love you profess for one another goes into the mode of commitment which is defined as the state of being dedicated to something. Commitment makes you to make up your mind that your marriage must make it.
There are several factors that can make you to be dedicated to your marriage. In my own case, I remember attending the golden jubilee of the wedding of a great uncle of mine when I was very young, probably ten years old. During that wedding anniversary, everything was gold; the dresses, the decorations, the gift items were all gold. Seeing the children and grandchildren all going up and down made me to be so much fall in love with it that I made up my mind there and then, that I would celebrate my own fifty years in marriage. Consequently, when there are offenses, something will remind me that we have not celebrated our own golden jubilee.
Apart from quality role model which was my own motivation towards commitment to my marriage, there are several other factors that can drive your commitment.
Some of those factors are:
THE VOWS- The vows you took on your wedding day may become a motivation towards commitment to your spouse. You took that vow before God and His church that you would remain true to one another throughout your lifetime.
QUALITY FRIENDS- The friends you keep may motivate you into commitment to your partner. If all your friends are desirous of keeping their homes, you are also likely to be.
PARENTAL BACKGROUND- The way your parents handled their partners may contribute towards making you committed to your home. If your father does not take his marital relationship serious, you may learn a lot of those negative traits from him.
REMEMBERING THE PAST- Remembering how you started the relationship or the sacrifice that your spouse made for you in the past may also be another motivation towards commitment.
REMEMBERING THE FUTURE- When you remember how you want your old age to be, it may make you to be committed to your marriage.
BELIEF- As a child of God, your motivation towards commitment to your partner may come from the word of God: “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce,… (Mal.2:16) So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mat.19:6)
If you remember that God hates divorce, it may make you to do whatever you can, to keep your home. If you also remember that God does not want any person or circumstances to separate any marriage, it may make you to be more committed to keeping that home. When I was giving testimony at RCCG JESUS HOUSE, Silicon Valley yesterday, I told them that my wife has been like the icing on the cake of my life. God gave to me her as my helper and I feel that she hasn’t disappointed God. As you join us to appreciate God for keeping our home for four decades, I pray that God will help you to find a motivation that will help you to remain committed to your home in Jesus name.
See you again next week. Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
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QUOTE. “ANY MAN CAN EASILY FALL IN LOVE, BUT IT TAKES A RESPONSIBILE MAN TO SUSTAIN LOVE”- Mike Oluniyi.
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