Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. (Matt.18:22)
Offenses are inevitable in marriage. However deeply in love you and your spouse are, you will offend each other. So, if your spouse has disappointed you by doing something that you never expected, don’t think you are alone; others also experience it. One important rule in marriage appears to be; ‘Thou shall be offended.’ If you must offend each other and your marriage vow is ’till death do us part’, it follows that having a peaceful home requires you to have the ability to forgive. In fact someone defined marriage as “two forgivers living together” There are several reasons why you need to forgive.
The first one is that there are worse cases than what your spouse has done. You may not really need to look far before you discover worse things that someone else’s spouse has done. They are together because they have learnt to forgive.
Second, think about the implications of a broken home. The devastating effect of broken home on either of the partners as well as the children and the society at large makes it imperative for you to forgive.
Thirdly, if you really put yourself in the position of your spouse and understand the underlying causes, you might have done something worse than what your spouse did. Even if you would have responded better if you were in his or her shoes, it may be because of certain factors which are more favourable to you.
Fourthly, ask yourself ‘What will God want me to do?’ However offended you are, if you ask yourself this question, the answer will most likely point to forgiveness.
Fifthly, when you refuse to forgive and allow the offense to linger, the conflict gets more and more complex. That is why you are counseled in the scriptures;
“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.and at a stage may become so complicated and lead to either separation or divorce. (Eph.4:26-27)
Next reason, God does not forgive unforgivers;
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. (Matt.6:12)
It is clear from the above scripture that when you have been offended by your spouse and you refuse to forgive, it is just a way of telling God that you don’t need His forgiveness.
Finally, you and your children may not be able to afford the consequences of a broken home, which is what unforgiveness ultimately leads to.
So, the challenge for you here from the Word of God is, Forgive, because the implications of unforgiveness is grave on your marriage and your walk with God.
