And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you (STEPS TO FORGIVENESS IN MARRIAGE).(Eph.4:32)
If you desire a healthy home, there are certain traits you should ensure that you never cultivate in your relationship. If such traits are in you, they will serve as obstacles to forgiveness in your home. Some of these are discussed below.
Pride.
The presence of pride in your life may make it difficult for you to forgive your spouse. Pride makes you to either have an exaggerated view of yourself or an underestimated view of your spouse and that generally leads to several problems that may serve as roadblocks to forgiveness. One of the major problems caused by pride is inability to apologize. Your acknowledgement of fault and the ability to apologize to your spouse go a long way towards opening the way for forgiveness (STEPS TO FORGIVENESS IN MARRIAGE).
External Advice.
There are always many unsolicited counselors who often serve as roadblocks to forgiveness in the home. Under normal circumstances, most problems can be sorted out between spouses. You and your spouse understand the situation and circumstances surrounding most things happening in your home more than anyone, including members of your extended family. A lot of homes have been shipwrecked because of wrong counsel from outsiders who appeared to be sympathizing with them. God’s view on marriage is that any other person, is an outsider.(Matt.19:5). Often, you may become so rigid on issues because of the external counsels you have received. Rigidity makes it difficult to shift ground and reach a compromise to when the need arises.
READ MORE: NAKEDNESS IN MARRIAGE
Lack of Communication(STEPS TO FORGIVENESS IN MARRIAGE).
Once communication breaks down in the home, any small problem becomes a great one. Some of the measures that improve communication in the home include doing things in common, sleeping on the same bed, eating and bathing together and having common hobbies that will make you to be dependent on each other. Once you are dependent on each other, you will discover that you will not be able to keep malice or do without each other for a considerable length of time (STEPS TO FORGIVENESS IN MARRIAGE).
Lack of depth in the Word of God.
It may be a great obstacle to forgiveness if you lack depth in the word of God or you deliberately disobey the truth you already know. If you are a child of God and you study the life of Jesus, you should not really find it difficult to forgive your spouse or anyone else when offended.
Conclusion.
The life of Jesus was a perfect example for us on the subject of forgiveness. When you lack the knowledge of his perspectives on it or you find it difficult to practice it, you may not forgive. Even when being tortured and at the point of death, He still forgave;
Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots. (Luk.23:24)
Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
