‘When Isaac had been there a long time, Abimelek king of the Philistines looked down from a window and saw Isaac caressing his wife Rebekah’ (Gen.26:8)
One of the biggest problems in the life of many marriages is unfulfilled sexual life – a situation in which the wife of a man consistently denies him sexual satisfaction either in quantity or quality. On the other hand, there is also a growing number of women who are complaining of being denied sexual satisfaction by their husbands. One of the reasons why it is such a problem is that people don’t readily discuss this vital area of their marital life with others because it is by nature supposed to be private between husband and wife. Consequently, it takes considerable level of trust or setting in of frustration before most people will open up concerning their sexual life.
Many also hardly complain about it because there is hardly anyone to ‘safely’ complain to. This is because many of those that counsel have also not taken time to really study the fact that this is a key area in marriage. Many ministers of God will just counsel the woman to submit in everything to the husband but they fail to teach couples that sex to a woman is a matter of the heart – when a woman submits her body to you without her heart, it is as if you robbed her of something vital.
One major reason why the problem must be addressed is that unfulfilled sexual life has a way of affecting other areas of life, both marital and non-marital, negatively.
Following are some basic truths that you should always be mindful of about your marital sex life.
It Is Your Duty As Well As Your Deepest Expression Of Love.(1Cor.7:4-5)
Sexual intercourse with spouse is an important responsibility of the two parties in marriage. You owe it as a duty, once you are married, to make yourself available for sex with your spouse. You must also know that when you make yourself available for sex with your spouse, it is one of deepest ways you can demonstrate that you love one another.
God Ordained Sex Not Just For Procreation But Also For Pleasure.(Pro.5:18-19)
You and your spouse must get to know that God invented sex not just for procreation but also for pleasure. Romance and sex with your wife is endorsed by the Bible.
Satisfying Sex Life Is One Major Index Of Healthy Marriage.
When the sex life of a couple is satisfactory, they are likely to be best of friends. A man that is sexually starved is very likely to overreact to situations that are connected with his wife, while a woman with an unsatisfying sexual life is usually very difficult to satisfy in any other way.
Sex With Your Spouse Is Not An Unclean Exercise, It Is God’s Idea.(Heb.13:4)
Sex within marriage is wholesome and scriptural. It is only when done outside marriage that sex becomes unclean and a sin that will have negative effect on your spiritual growth, stagnate or even destroy your ministry.
If You Don’t Handle The Issue Of Sex Appropriately In Your Home, You May Not Be Able To Counsel Other Couples Appropriately.
As you mature in marriage, you will often need to handle situations in which there will be need to talk to couples frankly about sex. If it is not carefully handled, you may end up creating unnecessary problems for those homes that you counsel. It is from the depth of your own experience in marriage that you are very likely to teach others.
Sex Outside Your Marriage Can Destroy Your Future And Prevent You From Finishing Strong.
Extramarital sex, for whatever reason, is like a poison which will appear pleasurable initially but will most certainly destroy your future in God. Every married man and woman must know that temptations will come especially as you become more and more successful in life.
If you want to be greatly used by God, you must realize that He is passionately against sexual immorality: (1Cor.6:18-19)
God May Choose To Teach You Vital Lessons Through Sex Challenges.
Often, periods of challenges with your spouse over sex may be used by God to point you to some valuable lessons for your journey in life and ministry. Often, you hear of people justifying adultery by saying that their spouse denied them of sex. You should be knowledgeable enough to know that God may use such period to call your attention to something.
Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
