The causes of sexual problems at home are not limited to alternative attractions such as adultery and emotional affairs which were treated in the first part of this write up, but there are a wide range of other matters that may result in lack of sexual fulfillment at home. Some of such causes are;
Marriage Counseling: Causes of Sexual Problems in the Home
The Perceived Need To Stay ‘Pure’ During Fasting and Religious Activities.
Many avoid sleeping with their spouse even for prolonged periods of time because of the erroneous feeling that sex is impure. As much as it is needful to fast and pray, the need to carry your spouse along can also not be overemphasized. 1 Corinthians 7:5;
‘Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.’
Non-readiness for foreplay.
Many men lack the tenderness or the patience to initiate romance that a woman requires to be turned on for sex. If you are too much in a hurry when having sex as a man you may rob your wife of the pleasure which she is surprised to derive from sex, thereby making her not to be fulfilled sexually.
Deliberate Denial.
Often, partners deliberately deny one another of sex, especially when they trust that such partners would not ordinarily be able to seek sexual pleasure outside the home ie may be the partner is a pastor.
Never forget that your spouse may become more vulnerable to temptations if sufficiently or consistently denied sexual fulfillment at home.
Impotence Or Erectile Dysfunction.
Impotence or Erectile Dysfunction ED is the inability on the part of a man to achieve or sustain an erection for a satisfactory sexual activity. It becomes more common as you get older but it is not a natural part of aging. ED is treatable but has serious effect on the ego of a man and it may grow worse if the wife does not handle such situation with understanding and encouragement.
High Incidence Of Absence From Home Due To Career Demands.
Frequent or prolonged absence from home as a result of career demands also results in lack of sexual fulfillment for many spouses.
Inability Or Unreadiness To Forgive.
Without been intentional, inability to forgive partners of offenses may also greatly contribute to sexual problems in the home.
Life-Altering Trauma.
A woman that was raped or sexually abused when she was young may keep reliving that experience and may even be seeing her husband as someone who may also assault her. A woman who had a life-threatening or disfiguring health challenge such as mastectomy after breast cancer, though the operation was successful, may feel disconnected from sexuality.
Painful Intercourse.
There are some women who experience pains during sexual intercourse as a result of a medical condition called virginismus. Also, lack of desire may prevent the lubrication of the private parts of the woman which may make sexual intercourse painful for her.
Other Medical Issues.
Low hormone levels, blood flow problems, depression or medication side effects may lead to erectile dysfunction ED in men and low sexual desire in women. A lot of the drugs you use, unknown to you, have side effects which may negatively impact your sexual capability.
Faulty Perception Of The Opposite Sex.
A woman who grew up in a family where her mother was badly treated may grow up with the impression that men are generally wicked, consequently affecting her desire for sex.
Bringing Workplace Challenges To The Bedroom.
When you come home greatly bothered about the challenges experienced at your place of work, you may not feel like initiating romance and even when it is initiated by your spouse, it may be met by rebuff from you.
Loss Of The First Love.
Sex is an emotional matter for a woman. When she has been emotionally wounded by her husband, it may be difficult for her to respond to her husband’s sexual advances.
You should as much as, possible avoid sexual challenges in your marriage because you may not be able to determine how far the consequences would go. A spouse who is not sufficiently self disciplined may fall for temptation easily or deliberately seek sexual pleasure outside the home during the time of sexual challenges. The danger is, by the time the matter is resolved at home, it may not be easy to stop the external sexual adventures.
Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
