Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.(Eph.4:26-27)
There are several implications of unforgiveness in marriage. Some are mild, making the home less blissful than expected of a godly marriage.
Some other implications are so deadly that they can simply kill the marriage. These implications include:
Lack of Joy.
When you harbor resentment as a result of unforgiveness, joy
is far from you. In such situation, you are easily irritated, and what you would hardly see as an offense suddenly becomes a major issue.
Low Productivity.
Your level of productivity either in secular or spiritual matters reduces drastically while you harbor unforgiveness. Your heart does extra work leading to premature tiredness which affects the amount of work you are able to do.
Your Heart Becomes the Devil’s Workshop.
When you fail to forgive, hatred sets in, since you are not likely to nurture good thoughts towards someone you have not forgiven. One major problem concerning the whole scenario is that the evil thought you have towards your unforgiven spouse is even a sin. Don’t forget that no sinner has a portion in the kingdom of God.
Retaliation.
When you fail to forgive, you are likely to be thinking on how to retaliate in a way that will even the score or even tilt the balance in a devastating manner. The consequence is that you will end up
complicating the matter. (Rom.12:19)
Health Problems.
There’s no how you can successfully harbor unforgiveness without impairing your health. The work that your heart does in one hour may be equivalent to what it would have done in one day under normal circumstances. This invariably leads to health complications. Many women have become psychiatric patients as a result of unforgiveness while many men have become alcoholics. Shortened life and ruined destinies usually follow impaired health.
Separation/ Divorce.
Most of the conflicts that led to separation or divorce would not have ended that way if the spouses concerned had cultivated the spirit of forgiveness. When there is a conflict, the problem will initially appear so big. If we don’t caution our reactions, however big the problem may appear, and make up our mind that our marriage is meant to last for a lifetime, the problem may gradually deteriorate into a divorce. Apart from physical divorce, unforgiveness breeds spiritual, emotional and social divorce.
Unanswered Prayers.
As a couple, you have a joint-account with God. Your prayers are speedily attended to when you agree together as a couple. When there is a crisis at home and you pray to God, you are like someone going to the bank to withdraw from a joint account without the
signature of his or her joint signatory. (Mal.2:10-13).
Conclusion.
Unanswered prayers, frustration and low productivity in spiritual matters which may eventually lead to eternal damnation are some of the major consequences of inability to forgive your spouse. Do not let the sun go down on your anger as the scripture above counsels, forgive your spouse.
