MAIM NEWSLETTERS.
Monday 24th February 2025.
Dear Reader,
HAVE YOU TRULY DONE YOUR BEST TO KEEP YOUR HOME?
A woman once asked me a thought-provoking question: “If I’ve done everything I can to maintain peace in my home, but my spouse is still a problem, what should I do?” Her question made me reflect deeply on what it truly means to do your best when your home is facing challenges.
Years ago, I had to step in during a marital crisis. The woman called me, explaining that she had tried everything in her power to make the marriage work, but her husband was an ongoing issue. According to her, he was unemployed and unable to supervise the maid, who took care of their home.
When I reached out to the husband, his side of the story shed light on a different perspective. He explained that he had once worked for a multinational company, while his wife was unemployed. At one point, he used his personal savings and took out loans to start a distributorship business for her. It was a big leap, but he hoped the business would support both of them.
However, shortly after the business was set up, he lost his job. Initially, he wasn’t concerned, believing that the business was large enough to sustain both of them. But soon, he noticed his wife was not comfortable with him being involved in her business. She made it clear that it was her business now. With no job and nothing else to occupy his time, he stayed home, but the situation began to deteriorate. His wife started treating him poorly, assigning him tasks around the house as if he were a maid. When he didn’t meet her expectations, she would speak to him harshly, almost as if he were one of the domestic staff. At the end of the day, the marriage crashed. Unfortunately, the distributorship business collapsed too later.
In this situation, the wife felt that she was doing her best because she was financially providing for their household, including the rent. But she overlooked an important aspect: even if you are financially contributing to your home, if you fail to respect your spouse, you have not truly done your best.
Respect is fundamental to any marriage, especially for men. By nature, men crave respect and honor from their wives, which is why the scripture instructs women to submit to their husbands. But this is not a one-sided issue. After providing for your home’s needs, if you fail to show affection and respect to your spouse, you are neglecting an essential part of what makes a marriage thrive.
Whether you are the man or the woman in the relationship, it’s crucial to take a step back and ask yourself: Have I really done everything I can to make my home better? Sometimes, it’s easy to overlook the little things that could make a significant difference. Perhaps you are withholding intimacy, even though you’re excelling in other areas. Maybe there are certain habits or behaviors that are bothering your spouse, but you’re not willing to change.
In any marriage, it’s essential to continually assess whether you are truly doing your best for the relationship, not just in terms of financial contributions, but also in respect, love, and understanding.
Are you really doing your best to keep your home?
Yours In strengthening Homes.
Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
