MARRIAGE MATTERS NEWSLETTER.
Monday 6th October 2024.
Dear reader,
YOUR MINDSET WILL MAKE OR MAR YOUR MARRIAGE.
You must have often wondered like me, what keep some people going when the going gets tough in marriage. There are those that despite great challenges, they are able to keep their marriage on its feet even in the face of so much challenges. On the other hand, there are those who ship out after a considerably simple matter. I then discovered that success in marriage has a lot to do with your mindset.
Mindset is defined as a mental attitude or inclination towards a particular idea or process. Mindset influences the way we think, feel and behave in any given situation or circumstances. The implication of this is that your mindset determines your success or failure in any particular circumstance of life, including your marriage.
Your mindset while going into marriage goes a long way to determine your disposition towards your home generally and your spouse in particular. If your mindset about marriage from the onset is that when things are not working, you might discard your spouse, move on and get attached to another person, you will discover that your marriage is not likely to work. This is because even when there are no faults from your spouse, you are likely to manufacture some, which will make you to validate your mindset.
If on the other hand, your mindset about marriage is that as a Christian, your marriage is expected to last until the death of either of you, you are very likely to be like an anchor which will hold that home steady in the face of the storms that will definitely blow against that home in the future. Even if your spouse is creating problems at home, the fact that you believe in marriage as a lifelong relationship, will likely make you to do everything practically possible to stabilize that marriage despite the challenges which would have destroyed most other homes. Your mindset concerning marriage therefore has vital role to play in determining how enduring and fulfilling your marriage may be.
HOW YOUR MINDSET AFFECTS YOUR HOME.
There are several ways through which your mindset may either make or destroy your marriage. Some of them are discussed below;
Going The Extra Mile For Your Home.
There are situations in which you will need to fight for your home for it to succeed. If your mindset is that your home may not work, then you may not see the need to fight for that home. That extra step which you may need to be there for your spouse may only be willingly taken if you have the right mindset about your home.
Praying For Your Home.
Praying for your spouse may have a direct correlation with your mindset about marriage. When there are circumstances beyond your control at home, with the right mindset, it keeps you praying and believing that nothing is beyond the intervention of God.
Determination To Keep Your Home.
You will discover that your determination to keep your home in the face of challenges will be largely determined by your mindset about marriage. If you have it mind that the home may might not work, there will be limit to how far you can go in enduring with your spouse even when things are tough.
Financial Investment In Your Home.
Another vital area where your mindset might affect your home is in your readiness to spend your money on the home. If for instance your husband is building your home, your wrong mindset may make you to feel that instead of supporting him, you should arrange for your own. When you have such separate investment, it helps you to allow the relationship to degenerate in times of crises since you would have already got an alternative plan.
Forgiving Your Spouse For Committed Offenses.
Your mindset about your marriage will go a long way to determine how conflicts may be resolved in your home. Offenses are inevitable in marriage, when you have the right mindset you will easily forgive your spouse even when the offense is serious because your desire is to see the home succeed. However, when you have the wrong mindset, the offense of your spouse may appear as the worst that could be committed by any spouse, making you to find it difficult to forgive.
BEWARE!
Knowing the importance of mindsets in the success of marriage, there is need for you to be mindful of the experiences which you may allow to shape your mindset about marriage. These are referred to in as mindset generators. Factors such as the negative experiences of others may make you to conclude that all men are not to be trusted. When you believe such, it will indeed make you to treat your husband with mistrust, invariably leading to the possibility of the collapse of your home.
On the other hand, your depth in spiritual matters as a man may make you to develop the mindset that your marriage is for life. Such mindset will make you to be tolerant of the excesses of your wife and avoid vices such as adultery. Doing that will definitely have a positive impact on the stability of your home.
In conclusion, beware of factors which you allow to affect your mindset about marriage, it may become the determining factor that will make or mar your home.
Yours In Strengthening Homes.
Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
