MARRIAGE MATTERS NEWSLETTERS
Monday 2nd September 2024.
In your marital journey, your spouse is bound to do some things that will offend you in a way which you might never have expected. Offenses naturally may lead to anger which of course is a normal reaction in most cases when you are offended. The issue in anger in marriage however is that you must find a way of controlling your it in such a way that you will not use hammer to swat a fly from your spouse’s head. consequently causing damages that you may regret later. Even God recognizes the tendency in you to get angry, but He counsels you in Ephesians 4:26;
‘Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:’
What is at stake in marriage is so much that you have to learn how to control your anger. Noticing a fly in someone’s hair may be an irritating thing, but attempting to use a hammer to kill such fly may go too far from your intentions. That is exactly what you are doing when your spouse offends you but you fail to control your anger.
UNCONTROLLED ANGER IS DESTRUCTIVE.
It can destroy in ten minutes what you used several decades to build. Uncontrolled anger will make you to be blind to the implications of the destruction you may visit on your spouse or home when under it’s influence. A man was deeply offended by his wife. In a moment of anger, he filled in his application form for permanent residency in Canada that he had never got married. He obtained the visa and relocated, leaving his wife and four children behind. However when he got to Canada, he realized it was not really easy to be alone over there. Moreover, when he visited Nigeria, the conflict was resolved but he could not change it on his documents which had it that he was never married.
YOUR HEALTH MAY BE AT STAKE.
One of the greatest dangers of uncontrolled anger on you is the negative impact it may have on your health. The work that your heart is doing in ten minutes when under the influence of anger may be equivalent to the work it would normally do in ten hours. If you destroy your health, you may become a big burden to your entire family in the future.
IT CAN MAKE YOU TO OFFEND OTHERS.
It can make you the enemy of your friends. Uncontrolled anger may make you to offend those you would not have ordinarily offended because. Your father inlaw that you ordinarily would respect could talk to you during such time and you will refuse to listen to him, you may even insult him.
IT MAY GET YOU INTO TROUBLE.
It can put you behind the bars for the rest of your life. It was reported to a woman that her husband spends the weekend at their country home with another woman while pretending to his wife that he was there for community activities. The woman made a surprise visit on a Saturday and met her husband with the woman relaxing in the sitting room with some cold drinks. In a moment of rage, she took one of the bottles, broke it and stabbed her husband on the head. Regrettably, it led to the death of her husband eventually being sentenced to life imprisonment.
YOUR SPIRITUAL GROWTH MAY BE COMPROMISED.
It can stagnate or destroy your spiritual life. Under uncontrolled anger, you are not likely to think or do righteous acts. You are either thinking of destroying or killing which are all part of the ministry of Satan as described in John 10:10. Any of those acts may only draw you farther and farther away from the will of God. When you are angry as a result of your spouse’s offence, you may forget anything good about him or her and think only about bad things which may consequently affect your spiritual life.
YOU MAY ACT FOOLISHLY.
It can make you to become a fool.
‘Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools’ (Eccl. 7:9)
By the time anger goes down and you look at what you did during moments of uncontrolled anger, you may doubt being the one that did it. This is because in such moments, it is the devil that would be driving you to do his will. You may consequently do things that you would not be proud of later.
CONCLUSION.
Since uncontrolled anger may lead you to the destruction of your home, affect your health and even lead you to destroy what you never intended to destroy, including the life of your spouse, it will be wisdom to avoid it. There is no how that your spouse will not offend you but you need to discipline yourself to control yourself even when angry.
May you receive God’s help to be able to achieve it in Jesus name.
Yours In Strengthening Homes.
Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
