MARRIAGE MATTERS NEWSLETTER 009. Monday 3rd June 2024.
Dear Spouse,
WHEN EXPECTATIONS ARE NOT MET IN MARRIAGE.
As you looked at your partner on your wedding day, a lot of things must have crossed your mind; a beautiful home with children surrounding your table, a lifelong of blissful relationship, good jobs that would allow you to gat whatever you desire, a life of health and vitality, good relationships, with the in laws all smiling and wishing you well etc.
Now fast forward to the present, maybe one of your expectations above has not been met. For instance children are not yet forthcoming or may be you lost your dream job. What do you do when it appears as if your expectations are not being met in your relationship?
There are several areas from the scripture, where you may draw strength in such a situation, remember them:
WHAT JESUS SAID.
“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (Jn.16:33)
Jesus never told us that there would be no challenges, consequently if anyone has told you that it would be a smooth sail throughout, the person must have deceived you. One thing that Jesus told you in the scripture above is that you would be fighting a battle that He has already won for you! So, when some expectations are not met in your marriage, believe that it is a battle that has already been won for you. It is just a matter of time, you will soon claim your victory.
GOD CAN TURN ANY UGLY SITUATION AROUND.
‘Turn again, and tell Hezekiah the captain of my people, Thus saith the LORD, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee: on the third day thou shalt go up unto the house of the LORD. And I will add unto thy days fifteen years; and I will deliver thee and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria; and I will defend this city for mine own sake, and for my servant David’s sake.’(2Ki.20:5-6)
It was a hopeless situation for king Hezekiah when the prophet of the LORD, Isaiah came and pronounced death sentence on him in the first verse of this chapter. However, instead of losing hope despite the apparent certainty of the pronouncement, the king turned his face to the wall in the second and third verses and prayed; reminding God of how dedicated he had been to His cause. In a dramatic move in the fourth verse, God turned the situation around by canceling the death sentence and added the promise of victory over his enemies to the king.
JOY COMES IN THE MORNING.
‘For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life:
weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.’ (Psa.30:5)
However painful the unmet expectation is, remember that joy will come in the morning. A time is coming soon when you will be wondering if you really experienced what you are going through now.
GOD IS NEVER LATE.
‘And Samuel grew, and the LORD was with him, and did let none of his words fall to the ground.’ (1Sam.3:19)
For many years, Hannah was waiting on God for children. The other wife of her husband had several children but Hannah kept expecting. However, by the time God responded to her cry, he was given Prophet Samuel as first born. Samuel became such a great prophet and a significant voice in Israel that the long wait for him must have been worthwhile. God is never late. By the time He shows up, what He will do will compensate for your period of waiting.
IT MAY BE A TEST.
‘Until the time that his word came:
the word of the LORD tried him.’ (Psa.105:19)
A look through the scriptures will make you to discover that when God promises, it takes some time before the fulfillment. The time of waiting is usually a testing period before the fulfillment of the promise. In the scripture above, it was said of Joseph that the word of God tried him until his word came. Joseph was indeed tried with the word of God severally before his word came, which made him to become the prime minister. Of particular note was when the wife of his Egyptian master, Portipha wanted him to commit adultery with him, Joseph said;
“There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God” (Gen.39:9)
Most people are not becoming the prime ministers that they are supposed to become because somewhere in the journey of their marriage, they have slept with the wife of their own Portipha! Had Joseph failed his test, it might have been too risky to make him become the prime minister of Egypt because no man’s wife including that of Pharaoh would have been safe!
REMEMBER ALSO YOUR MARITAL VOWS.
“In the name of God, I, , take you, , to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. This is my solemn vow.”
In your marital vows, you did not commit yourself to just the good part the relationship, but also to the challenging part. Just as there is good health in marriage, there is also bad health. It is not just about physical health but sometimes financial health and even emotional . Don’t forget that when financial bad health or adversity from u expected sources come, they are still part of the package of marriage.
In conclusion, when expectations are not met in marriage, it is important for you to look at the situation through the mirror of God’s word. The way you are looking at things may not necessarily be the way God views it. There are even times that you may not be ripe for your expectations. Being able to accept the situation in which you have found yourself is so important. If not, you may be overreacting to your spouse which may in turn your home into a battleground which was created by no other person than you!
