MARRIAGE MATTERS NEWSLETTER 008. Monday 20th May 2024.
Dear Spouse,
YOUR PARTNER IS NOT A SPARE TYRE.
A good number of us are guilty of treating our spouse the way we treat spare tyres. You know, hardly do you think of a spare tyre until probably you have a flat tyre or one of the tyres get damaged and you need another one to move on. It is only then that you open the spare tyre compartment. There was a day I was traveling in the night. Suddenly at a village, when vulcanizers have closed for the day, I realized that I had a flat tyre, and parked the car. I confidently opened the car boot to bring out the spare tyre. Behold, though the tyre was there, it had already gone flat too! For many of us, our spouse is like a spare tyre, we have taken him or her so much for granted that though the spare tyre is there, it has gone flat. Due to the fact that we just take them granted, we have failed to realize that they are no longer the way they used to be.
Periodic evaluation is vital for the health of your marriage. One form of hurt or the other as we offend one another, personal challenges or new fears might have punctured the spare tyre unknown to us. Let us even assume that your spouse is an extra tyre, try to check up once in a while to prevent yourself from been stranded when you will need your partner most. Check the health status of your marriage regularly. Periodic evaluation may involve asking yourselves question, being ready to be confronted with the truth, as well as readiness to adjust.
Some of the advantages of periodic evaluation of your marriage are discussed below:
COMMUNICATION.
Periodic evaluation of your marriage promotes open communication between you and your partner. Discussing the state of your marriage allows both parties to express feelings, concerns, and needs, fostering a deeper understanding and connection.
IDENTIFICATION OF ISSUES.
Evaluation helps identify underlying issues or areas of dissatisfaction before they escalate. It allows you to address problems early on, preventing them from becoming larger conflicts.
EXPECTATION ADJUSTMENT.
Over time, individual goals, desires, and priorities may evolve. Periodic evaluation enables couples to realign their expectations and goals, ensuring that both partners feel fulfilled and supported in the relationship.
STRENGTHENING BONDS.
Reflecting on the positive aspects of the relationship can strengthen the emotional bond between you and your spouse. When you evaluate with a view to adjusting where necessary reinforces the satisfaction derivable from the marriage, thereby reinforcing bonds.
ADAPTING TO CHANGES. Life is dynamic, and circumstances change over time, such as career shifts, financial changes, or family additions. Regular evaluations allow couples to adapt to these changes together, ensuring that the marriage remains resilient and supportive.
PREVENTING DRIFT.
Couples may unintentionally drift apart if they become complacent in their relationship. Evaluating the marriage periodically helps prevent this drift by encouraging intentional efforts to nurture the connection and keep the relationship vibrant.
MAINTAINING INTIMACY.
Prioritizing regular evaluations can help maintain intimacy in the relationship. By checking in with each other emotionally, physically, and mentally, couples can ensure that they are meeting each other’s needs and fostering a strong sense of intimacy.
SEEKING HELP EARLY.
Regular evaluations provide an opportunity to recognize when outside help, such as couples therapy or counseling, may be beneficial. Addressing challenges with the guidance of a professional can lead to healthier communication patterns and conflict resolution strategies.
Overall, periodic evaluation is essential for promoting growth, understanding, and longevity in a marriage, ultimately contributing to its overall health and happiness.
Sometimes you are surprised when you hear the news of the separation or divorce of a fine couple. In most cases it happens because the partners just assumed the health of their marriage until it was too late.
Yours In Strengthening Homes,
Mike & Yemmy Oluniyi.
Note.
There is an excellent form on this website that you may use for the periodic evaluation of your marriage.
