YOU ARE RAISING SOMEONE’S SPOUSE.

Marriage Matters Newsletter 005. Monday 29th April 2024.

Dear Friend,
YOU ARE RAISING SOMEONE’S SPOUSE.
Has it ever crossed your mind, that if parents train their children appropriately, the society will have a lower number of difficult or failed marriages? I have realized that most behaviour that are creating problems for a lot of spouses are because some parents are not raising their children well. Consequently in this message, I just want to remind you that as you are raising that boy or girl, you are raising someone’s husband or wife. Consequently, if you fail in your responsibilities, you have only succeeded in adding to the number of difficult marriages in the society, as most of the behavior that creates problem in different homes are as a result of habits formed at home. The scripture says;

‘Train up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.’ (Pro.22:6)

ARE YOU SURE YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD?
In today’s world, many of us are now having fewer children due to economic realities or because of the stress involved. Another reason why we are having fewer children is because there are so many failed marriages, preventing many who would have preferred to have more children from doing so. Consequently most parents have less children to raise which makes them to focus all the love and attention which they would have showed on several children on only one or two. For instance, many ladies in failed marriages would likely divert all the attention they would have put on their husband on the single or two children that they have out of the broken marriage.
If your child did something wrong at school and he is disciplined and you go to the school to fight the teacher without actually seeing things from the right perspective so as to reinforce the right behavior in that child, do you really love the child? When you love your child so much that you fail to inculcate the discipline that will make him to be a responsible man or woman in the future, you are just raising another potential problem for the spouse that will be unfortunate enough to marry such child in the future.

WHEN YOUR CHILD DOESN’T BELIEVE THAT NO, IS AN ANSWER.
Are you raising your child in a way that it is everything he asks for that he receives, and you never let him believe that it is not always so in real life, the young boy may not be a good husband in the future because anytime his wife expresses different opinion at home, the poor wife will be in trouble.

WHEN YOUR CHILD DOESN’T VALUE LABOUR.
Many parents today does not allow their children to do any domestic work at home as they are capable of getting maids or servants to serve them at home. When your child can neither cook nor do any washing at home, the spouse may be in trouble in the future because he or she would have got a husband who will not be able to assist in doing anything at home. Even if you employ a maid, still teach your child how to do some house chores, the home is a veritable training ground for your child.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS NOT SELF DISCIPLINED.
Self discipline is a very important part of the training that your child should experience at home, if you really love him. A child that is not self disciplined will be a problem to the spouse in the future. When a boy grows into adulthood without self discipline, he may subject the wife to domestic abuse since he will find it difficult to control himself against hitting a woman.

TAKES ADVANTAGE OF OTHERS.
If because you love a child, you allow him or her to take advantage of them, he will do the same under normal circumstances in marriage. Your child should be trained to know that even the slave a human being who deserves some level of dignity.

If you believe that one of the sources of joy that you and your spouse will have in the future is to see your children being in good relationship with their spouses, now is the time to work to prepare grounds for it.

May you not fail in this important responsibility in Jesus name.

Yours in Strengthening Homes.

Mike & Yemmy Oluniyi.