MARRIAGE MATTERS NEWSLETTER No. 3.
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Dear friend,
CAN YOU APOLOGIZE EVEN WHEN YOU ARE RIGHT?
Not long after we started our ministry, my wife offended me in a way that made me to threaten her one day before we went to bed with the following words:
“I suspect that you feel that without you I can’t do ministry. I will do ministry without you and deal with you in a way that you will know that you have been dealt with.”
After threatening her with those words, I went into the bedroom, but I needed to pray before sleeping. The way I prayed that day may appear funny to you but that was precisely the way I prayed. “Father, my wife has offended me, and I promised that I would deal with her. Holy Spirit, teach me how to deal with her in Jesus name!”
Instantly, I got the response thus; “Go and apologize to her” The response was too clear for me to doubt that it was God’s answer to my prayer.
Can you just put yourself in my shoes having threatened that you are going to deal with your wife on a matter in which you are absolutely sure you are right, only to be directed to go and apologize to her. Imagine if the ego of a man will allow you to do that. However, that was precisely what I did because I had learnt that obedience is the key to walking with God. When she saw me coming back to the sitting room, I am sure that she must have expected that I was coming to deal with her as promised but became confused when I apologized.
The question for today is: What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Would you have apologized when you were sure that you were the offended?
Would you have pretended as if you did not hear God and go ahead to deal with her as promised?
If you want to have a successful marriage, there are a lot of times you will have to do some stupid things just like I did above. You may find yourself in a situation that you will just have to swallow your pride and apologize when you are actually the one that should receive apologies.
WHY YOU MAY APOLOGIZE.
There are several reasons why you may need to apologize even when you feel you are right;
- The angle from which your spouse is looking at it may be different from your own.
- The realization that apology does not cost you anything except your pride.
- You realize that when conflicts are allowed to linger, they have the tendency develop into big issues.
- You realize that your spouse may still offer apologies when he or she realizes later that you were right.
- God is not interested in prolonged conflict.
“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,(Eph.4:26) - You realize how important your home is to you.
- You realize that homes are not built upon rights but upon commitment.
The more you realize how important your home is to you, the more you will be ready to sacrifice anything to keep your home. Any home where everyone is insisting on rights can not be a peaceful home.
Go now and strengthen your home with the above.
Yours In Strengthening Homes.
Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
The content of this newsletter which comes out every Monday is aimed at strengthening homes. It is available on our website; mattersarisinginmarriage.com You may also receive it directly in your mail by subscribing to it.
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Sincerely, saying sorry is not easy. However this is a great content and a good focus for a website. I’m now a subscriber. Is there any book i can purchase on this website. Viewing From England
Yes, it is not easy to say sorry. However, when it dawns on you the importance of marital relationship, you are likely to sacrifice greatly not just to keep your home but to make your home a pleasant place to be. In less than two weeks, our books will be available for purchase online. Thanks for being part of this community.
Even sometimes we should apologize unwillingly. Any book on this particular topic I would prefer an e-book. I just subscribed to your community
Someone defined marriage as ‘two forgivers living together’ The ability to offer and receive apologies is vital in the process of forgiveness. Consequently, if your marriage is important to you, it doesn’t really matter where it is coming from. We have to be generous with it. The feature that will make you to be able to purchase our books will be added to the website in the next two weeks. When you get MATTERS ARISING IN MARRIAGE, there is a section on Forgiveness In Marriage where the issue of apologies in marriage is highlighted. Read up the section. I hope to write a book specifically on APOLOGIES IN MARRIAGE. I’ll announce when it is ready. Thanks for being a member of this community.
I find this website beautiful with all this marriage content. You’re a genius Mike.
It’s exciting to have your comments. We hope to keep making the website more and more relevant to your marital experiences. Glad to have you with us. -Mike Oluniyi.