MAIM NEWSLETTER NO 4. Monday 22nd April 2024.
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Dear friend,
Your marriage Is Unique
I once organized a dinner for couples and during the interactive session, I asked them a question. I wanted them to share with us what they were coping with in their spouse that may be difficult for others to manage.
Then, one man who had been married for thirty three years raised his hand to share his own experience. According to him, his wife since they got married over thirty three years ago had never opened her mouth to say, “I am sorry” He declared that he doesn’t feel that most other men could cope with such situation.
Indeed, not many men would be able to cope with a woman who would not apologize for any offence. You will agree that there can’t be peace in such home. However, contrary is the case. Despite the fact the wife finds it difficult to apologize, the couple who had been together for over three decades behave towards one another as if they newly got married. It got me thinking that though it is very important to say “I am sorry”, some people may actually have another way of expressing their apologies.
I then went closer to the man later and asked him the secret of their successful marriage despite the inability of the wife to apologize for offenses. According to him, his wife loves him dearly just as he does to her. Despite her inability to apologize, they are so attached to each other that it is difficult for their conflict to go over into the following day because she has other ways of offering apologies. If for instance they argued over something before leaving home to their places of work, by the time he arrived in the evening, his wife would welcome him with big smiles and warm embrace. She would follow him in and enquire how his day was. She would have got his best food awaiting him at the dining table, that night she would be the one that would invite him to bed. According to him, he has taken such to be her own way of saying her apologies. He has been enjoying it because he realized that things that would normally take some persuasion for him to achieve become very easy or directly offered to him freely by his wife in position of apologies.
I have brought this up because there may be a particular way in which your spouse may be doing a particular thing which is different from the general notion around you. Once it has been working for your home, let it be, that is why your home may be unique when compared with others. There are ideas that are perfect for your own home that will destroy other homes if exported to them. There are also things that will work perfectly in other families that you dare not import into your own home, if you do, there may be a lot of problems.
Let me close this message with;
‘Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, …’ (1Pet.3:7a)
Your assignment then is, get more knowledge about one another and apply such knowledge in running your home whether as a man or woman. That is why marriage is said to be an institution of learning into which you matriculate but never graduate from.
Keep learning about your spouse and make good use of such knowledge to sustain your home, even as the Holy Spirit helps you in Jesus name.
Yours In Strengthening Homes.
Dr. Mike Oluniyi.
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